At some point you will eat together and this is known as a First Date Meal. Almost always suggested as 'grabbing something to eat' so as not to look uncool. I'm going to go ahead and use the D-word, so look away now if you're scared of it. Eating corn-on-the-cob last night, with fingers and chin shining with butter, my flatmate informed me, corn between her teeth, that this was not a good First Date Meal. As always, when tickled by the muse, I felt a list coming on... thanks to those who were quizzed for contributions.
Things To NOT Eat On A First Date
Smelly: garlic / onion related. But less offensive if you both indulge.
Smelly 2: if you are imagining stretching the evening for more than a couple more hours, it would perhaps be advisable not to eat chick peas, baked beans, lentils... you get the picture.
messy: spaghetti / linguini, or anything that might whip puttanesca sauce round your chin.
messy 2: lobster, crab, escargots - anything you could accidentally flip onto the next table. Which usually brings on my story about performing silver service, french fries and the man's suit... another time, perhaps.
messy on your looks: spinach, poppy seeds, indeed anything that gets caught in the teeth.
messy on your looks (subsection: colour): blueberries, beetroot juice and, I'm sorry to say it, red wine. Blue, purple or red lips, teeth and tongue are comic, but not sexy. NB almost everyone of my acquaintance preferred red wine over vanity and would drink red wine despite spooky blue teeth. Candle light has possible softening effects.
messy on your ethics: foie gras, veal... or, if eating with a vegetarian, even eating a bloody steak can look insensitive and, thus, offputting. Possible remedy: if vegan, eat with vegans. If omnivorous, don't date vegetarians. Look, what do you prefer - food or a stranger?!
messy on your squeam: proposed by Bert. She said she couldn't kiss anyone who had put offal in their mouth. Just passing it on...
Other meal time faux pas:
- eating too much and thus looking greedy
- eating very little, for some reason a bit uncomfortable in a fellow diner
- eating your companion's food, uninvited
- turning up late: don't keep a hungry person waiting.
- drinking too much, you lush
- the paying debacle ... eek! a whole other subject altogether
Coda
But. I wrote all this before a First Date Meal last autumn, in which I ate with a vegetarian who was a bit insipid on the decision front. I chose red wine for both of us, because I like it, and short pasta with bacony chicken and cream sauce, because it wasn't long pasta. And thus not ugly to eat. And didn't have any spinach or garlic in... but which was a bit strange with the wine. I was following the advice of friends, as outlined above, but it felt a bit uptight.
At the next First Meal a deux I had a fat Eds Diner burger and peanut butter milkshake, with an Irishman, in a two-fingered gesture to being considerate and attractive. My only regret was not having extra bacon and cheese.
In true story telling fashion, the third new gentleman friend I had a first meal with was 'treated' to mediocre linguini carbonara, eaten messily and greedily, with second helpings, listening to Tom Lehrer. So after all that my outcome would not be advice on what to avoid eating, but to ingest the food you like most, and take it in the best company you can find. People who like food are preferable to people who like dates. Both the activity, and the dried fruit.
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